


Desert Road

by Kita_the_Spaz



Category: Naruto
Genre: Community: kakairu_fest, Flashbacks, M/M, Mindfuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-14
Updated: 2015-04-14
Packaged: 2018-03-22 23:00:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3746779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kita_the_Spaz/pseuds/Kita_the_Spaz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>To find what you seek in the road of life, the best proverb of all is that which says: "Leave no stone unturned." Sometimes the road of life can lead one in unexpected directions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Desert Road

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Livruka](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Livruka/gifts).



> Originally written for the KakaIru Winterfest round 2012. This was one of those pieces that didn't want to end; I called it the fic that ate my brain, Manhattan and several small islands off the coast of Java.
> 
> Comments and Criticism always welcome.

Kakashi dragged himself over a rise and squinted in disbelief at the vista before him. He thought idly that if he weren’t exhausted and down to the last dregs of his chakra, he might vent his frustration with few curses and a good scream or two, but he had _nothing_ left to spare after that last battle.

The earth stretched out before him, bleak and lifeless, a shadow landscape of wind-tortured stones and stunted, twisted trees that, if they had even indeed lived, had never seen the sun. 

Speaking of the sun...

Kakashi squinted up at the leaden, gray sky, trying to discern where the sun might be hiding behind the unending stratas of cloud. He had lost his compass somewhere and his normally peerless sense of direction was utterly useless. He should only be a few days out from the southernmost border of Fire, where it intersected with the border of River Country. At least, that was where he _should_ be, but he had to admit he’d never seen geography quite like this in River. River was well known for its abundance of waterways, but this stretch looked like the badlands at the edges of Suna’s vast desert, all dead things and baked earth.

At last, he took a guess as to which way was north and trudged onward, watching the sky and the uninspiring landscape for the slightest recognizable landmark. Nearly an hour later, he still hadn’t spotted anything halfway familiar. One advantage this desolate place had going for it; there was literally nowhere for enemies to hide. Even the tallest of the rock spires were less than half a man’s height and too narrow for anything but the tiniest creature to hide behind.

So it was with surprise that he saw something moving, besides himself. The tiny flash of movement was so quick, he almost missed it, especially as the creature was nearly the same shade of washed-out brown as the sand and rock surrounding him.

Kakashi halted, waiting for it to move again. He still had the means to make a fire, assuming he could get any of the decidedly dessicated-looking brush to catch. Perhaps he’d found his first meal in this arid place. He had ration bars and several canteens of water stored in a couple of emergency scrolls, but he’d rather not break into those supplies unless he had to.

He dropped a kunai into his hand and studied where he’d seen the darting movement. A high-pitched squeaking noise came from behind him and Kakashi turned quickly. 

A pair of bright black eyes regarded him from the top of one of the stunted rock outcroppings. The creature squeaked again, almost mockingly, and vanished in a flurry of sand. It was damnably fast, Kakashi discovered, when it squeaked again near his foot, before darting off to perch on a different rock than before.

Dropping into a relaxed crouch, Kakashi holstered his kunai and stared at the small bundle of energy. It superficially resembled the kyuubi, with a narrow, pointed face, thin legs and bright, darting eyes, though it only sported a single fluffed tail, that switched rapidly and revealed that it was most definitely a male. It had the most ridiculously outsized pair of ears atop its narrow head, the sails of thinly furred flesh twitching at every sound.

“And what are you supposed to be, ears?” Kakashi asked, amused by the way the enormous ears twitched in time with the cadence of his voice. “You look like a fox, at the very least, but I’ve never seen your kind before.”

The little creature chattered at him excitedly, darting frenetically back and forth across the tumbled rock that served as his perch. It sounded almost like he was laughing at Kakashi.

“Well, while I’m sure this is all kinds of fun for you,” Kakashi grunted, rising back to his feet. “I need to see if I can find my way back home.”

He sighted up into the impenetrable cloud-cover again, hoping for the slightest glimpse of the sun to give him his bearings. Nothing. Heaving a sigh, he continued the way he had been heading before his brief diversion.

“ _Yark-ark-ark-yark!_ ”

Kakashi stumbled back a step, cursing his lack of attention that had allowed the little creature to sink teeth into his bare toes. “What the hell?”

Crouching, the little fox-creature flattened his outsized ears along his neck, tail jerking in agitation. When Kakashi ventured to take another step forward, he bared little needle fangs at him, making a threatening screeching noise.

“Oh, now this is just ridiculous.” Kakashi scowled down at the beast, irritated. “Back off, Ears, or I'll reconsider my decision to not make a meal out of you.”

A swift sidestep and he was around the little monster, but it took some fast moving indeed to avoid the sharp little teeth that made a determined effort to flay the skin from his unprotected toes and heels. Kakashi danced sideways between two rock outcroppings and came to a surprised halt when the little demon stopped attacking his feet and settled down with a happy-sounding series of squeaks. “ _Seriously?_ ” Kakashi growled down at his tormentor.

It squeaked back, utterly contented now that he was not trying to get past it again.

Experimentally, Kakashi took a step towards him, watching the huge ears flatten and the shrill screech build. He took two steps back and the fox-beast settled. A third step and it had bounced to its feet, making that oddly happy squeak.

Sighing, Kakashi glanced up toward the determinedly hidden sun and rolled his shoulders in a tired shrug. Well, until it showed its face or night fell and he could see the stars, one direction was as good as the next. To his surprise, with each step he took it seemed that he actually trod on the faintest trace of a path, a crumbling trail of chalky white meandering through the stunted trees and spires of stone.

Soft pattering in the dust behind him made Kakashi turn. The little fox-creature following him leapt up onto a stone and chattered happily at him.

“Don’t know why you’re following me, Ears. I don’t have any food to share,” Kakashi found himself smiling behind his mask. The noisy little creature reminded him of someone, though he couldn’t think of who. After pondering for a moment, Kakashi put the thought aside for continuing his trudge down the barely discernable path.

Something moved on the branches of one of the dead and leafless trees. Kakashi whirled and sent a shuriken at the motion.

Dark blood spattered the dusty brown rocks and Kakashi found himself staring at the ugliest lizard he’d ever seen in his life, transfixed on the point of his weapon. The damned thing looked almost deformed, with thin body, long, fragile legs and a whip-like tail. It’s head seemed far too long for its body with a narrow muzzle and huge bulges directly beneath the staring yellow eyes.

Kakashi scowled at the thing for a moment before moving to retrieve his weapon.

The creature he’d dubbed ‘Ears’ made his odd _‘yark’_ sound again, causing Kakashi’s hand to hesitate. The lizard’s head lashed around, mouthful of razor teeth snapping on the space where his fingers would have been if he’d continued the motion. Hissing, the lizard spasmed, spat black blood and finally went limp, dripping blood from its mouth and where the shuriken had impaled it.

Scowling, Kakashi cut off the deformed-looking head with a kunai just to be certain it was dead before removing the shuriken and letting the limp body fall. 

Ears darted forward and caught up the carcass, flipping it into the air to catch it neatly in his teeth. Bright eyes slanted towards Kakashi, a little comical over the limp tail dangling out of one corner of his muzzle.

Kakashi snorted, carefully cleaning his weapons. “You’re going to eat that? Go for it. The stupid thing would probably poison me.” Stowing his blades, Kakashi used a twig to prod at the dead thing’s head. Two of the razor fangs were hollow, and an experimental poke at one of the facial bulges yielded a thick yellowish venom drooling from one of the fangs.

Disgusted, Kakashi tossed the twig away. “Lovely.”

Ears finished his meal with a quick toss of his head and darted over to inspect the head. Sneezing, he scraped dust over the bloody thing with his hind paws.

Kakashi chuckled. “Yeah, good choice.”

Ears squeaked happily, bouncing around Kakashi.

Kakashi just snorted and continued walking. His sandals kicked up tiny puffs of powder with each step and Kakashi paused a moment and crouched to rub a pinch of the dust between his fingers. No wonder the land was so inhospitable. The soil was rife with halite, so much so the the fine white dust was primarily powdered salt. “Miserable place to live.” Kakashi commented aloud to the fox-creature following him.

Ears chattered back and Kakashi found himself glad for the presence of the little animal. He had come to dislike being alone after...

Kakashi snorted and shook himself out of bitter memories, glancing upwards again at the thick layers of clouds. Though the dim, gray-tinged light had faded into a murky dusk, there was still no sign of where the sun was and even less indication of where the stars might be. “Well, there goes that idea,” he muttered aloud.

Choosing a spot that was sheltered on two sides by tumbled rocks, Kakashi built a tiny pocket of fire with branches from one of the dessicated trees (after making sure said tree did not host any of the lethal lizard’s kin) and pulled out one of his provisions scrolls. The fire burned with an odd bluish-white color Kakashi attributed to the mineral salts and dust that coated everything.

Ears settled down on the opposite side of the fire, munching noisily on something that had far too many legs. Kakashi tugged down his mask, stuck his tongue out in an exaggerated grimace at the crunching noises and gnawed on his own tasteless ration bar.

Ears yipped and stared into Kakashi’s bared face, seemingly fascinated.

Kakashi snorted a laugh, watching those outsized ears twitch in time with his harsh laughter. “You remind me of Naruto,” he told Ears in amusement. “He’s _still_ trying to see what’s behind my mask, even now.”

Ears chattered happily at him, the strange firelight casting moving shadows across the little fox-creature’s face. A lick of shadow across his muzzle, combined with those dark, intelligent eyes, brought to mind another face, one he hadn’t seen for a long time.

Kakashi sighed and leaned back against the rock, closing his eye against the image, but it hung in the darkness behind his eyelids and he found himself drifting into a memory.

Iruka’s eyes were bright and laughing. That should have been his warning right there, because in all the interactions he’d had with the chuunin since the infamous incident at the chuunin exam nominations, Umino Iruka had been unfailingly polite but as cold as ice. If he had said two words more than he had to, Kakashi hadn’t been around for that. Iruka was an unholy terror in the mission room, alternately badgering, coaxing and shouting at the shinobi that filled the room; somehow knowing the right mix to motivate even the most obstinate jounin. 

When it came Kakashi’s turn to hand in his report, Iruka’s lips stretched into a smile that sent an uneasy shiver down his spine, and the fingers of the hand that wasn’t reaching out to take the scroll tapped a simple three-beat pattern on the desk; tap-tap-tap, pause, ta-tap-tap. Somehow Kakashi thought he should know the pattern. “Thank you for your hard work, Hatake-san.” 

The tapping paused for a heartbeat.

His eye on that hand in case those fingers should twist into a sign or pull a weapon from somewhere, Kakashi nodded warily. He took a step back, ready to turn on his heel and retreat, when Iruka’s voice stopped him. “Ah, a moment of your time, Hatake-san.”

Kakashi froze. “While I’d love to hang around, Iruka-sensei, there are pressing demands on my limited and valuable moments. Perhaps later?”

Iruka’s smile had widened and looked disturbingly predatory. He rose and came around the desk, moving with feline grace. “Oh, not more than an instant, I’m sure, Hatake-san.” His hand darted out and pressed a scroll into Kakashi’s fingers, a sharp bit of metal imbedded into the wax seal biting into his finger and drawing a bright bead of blood. The wax seal dissolved into smoke where the blood touched it.

Iruka’s smile became, for lack of a better way to describe it, a positively _demonic_ smirk. “And now that you have accepted the scroll and broken the seal, you are bound to the orders contained therein. See you tomorrow at the hour before dawn. Goodnight, Hatake-san.” 

Kakashi eyed him uneasily and unrolled the scroll. In Tsunade’s most formal handwriting, the scroll ordered him to undergo advanced remedial training in chakra suppression techniques. Kakashi scowled at it. “I know how to suppress a target’s chakra already, hag,” he muttered resentfully. 

Iruka reached over the edge of the scroll and unspooled the parchment just a bit more. Underneath the very formal wording was another note, this one in the sharply slanted slashes that were Tsunade’s personal style, _‘And this isn’t about suppressing someone else’s chakra, brat. Considering how many times you come back to the village in utter burnout, carried by your ninken or teammates, I’ve decided it behooves you to undergo some training in getting your ass back home in one piece without chakra. As Iruka-sensei has extensive experience in dealing with chakra; the suppression of and blockage, especially, he will be undertaking this task. The village needs you alive, brat, so I expect you will do your very best to learn.’_

Kakashi looked up into Iruka’s bright, predatory smile and felt his heart sink.

Iruka chuckled. “Don’t be late, Hatake-san. Tardiness is not acceptable, no matter how creative the excuse. Training Ground Thirteen, the hour before dawn.” He returned to his seat, still smiling that disturbingly predatory grin. “Next in line, please.”

Kakashi woke with a start, staring down into the dying embers of the fire. Shuddering slightly, Kakashi built up the fire again.

Ears raised his head and blinked at Kakashi across the flames, tail beating a steady rhythm against the dusty ground.

Kakashi turned his head away and settled back against the rock a second time. Those dark eyes reminded him too much of Iruka’s.

Still unsettled, he let the crackle of the flames and the steady thump-thump-thump, tha-thump-thump of the little fox-creature’s tail lull him back into a half-doze.

Between one breath and the next he was back in his memories, early morning fog curling cold and damp around his ankles during his trudge to Training Ground Thirteen. Thirteen was one of the lesser used grounds, bordering on the edges of the _Kanashimi no Numa_ , and prone to all the hazards of the swamp. They had nearly lost two genin to a _hitodama_ earlier that spring. The ghost-light had led the youths into the murky depths of the swamp and only the arrival of their jounin-sensei had kept them from being the latest victims of a place that was only marginally less dangerous than the aptly-named ‘Forest of Death.’

The closer he got to the training grounds, the better he could hear the sounds of someone already there moving about. The fog attenuated the sounds weirdly, echoing and bouncing them all around. Thick curls of fog peeled back to reveal a clearing and a solitary figure alternately moving smoothly through a series of katas before lashing out at one of the training posts. Kakashi watched Iruka come up from a defensive crouch into a spinning, lethal attack, fists and feet pounding away at points on the training post that corresponded to various vulnerable spots on a human body. Three quick kicks, followed by a rapid-fire kick-strike-strike combo that broke the top of the post off completely and sent it sailing away into the murk. 

Without pause for breath, Iruka used his momentum to spin away and come at a second trained post obliquely, striking at it with yet another rapid series of blows. 

Kakashi had to admire his economy of movement as well as his clearly deadly precision.

Iruka paused and glanced over his shoulder, dropping out of his attack stance with practiced ease. “Ah, Hatake-san, you _are_ on time. I confess to being surprised.” Iruka’s mouth quirked upward into a wry smile. “I thought I was going to have to send someone to drag you out of bed.”

A lithe, female form ghosted out of the billowing fog, dressed in ANBU’s pale armor. Her silver-chased cat-mask regarded both of them for a moment, nodded once, and then she retreated as silently as she had appeared.

Kakashi raised his visible eyebrow at Iruka.

Iruka chuckled darkly, meeting his gaze boldly. “I told you tardiness would not be acceptable.” He folded his arms and stared at Kakashi.

The weight of his gaze made Kakashi’s skin itch. “I’m not entirely certain I see the point of this.”

Iruka snorted and leapt straight up to perch on the top of one of the training posts in a relaxed posture, one leg folded under his opposite thigh and his dangling foot swinging back and forth gently. His hands were lax in his lap. “There’s actually some quite good reasoning behind it, Hatake-san, whether you care to believe it or not. In the past seven months you have been returned to the village on the backs of teammates or your dogs no less than five times. You have managed to make it as far as the hospital before collapsing in a severe state of chakra-drain shock twice and once nearly died in your apartment because you went there and collapsed just inside the doorway instead of going to the hospital like someone with the slightest sense of self-preservation would have. It was a good thing Tsunade-sama sent a messenger looking for you or you would have died right there in the genkan. You have been hospitalized three times with your chakra so low that you were burning your own life energy to keep moving. Shall I go on? Because there’s more on the list.”

Kakashi scowled at him, irritated. “And your point?”

“ _Tsunade-sama’s point,_ ” Iruka’s voice was cheerfully venomous. “Is that you need to learn how to manage when you’ve burned too much of your chakra, enough to get yourself home and to help before she has to rebuild your chakra paths from the ground up for the fourth time this year. I have a lot of experience teaching children what they can do without chakra. And I will teach you the same, on the Hokage’s orders.”

Kakashi took another step forward, glaring up at Iruka, “Do you—?”

Iruka’s lax hands suddenly snapped up, flashing through a series of signs at a speed Kakashi would be hard-pressed to follow without his Sharingan.

The ground flared into brilliance around him and he could not move. Lines of black spiraled up his legs from the earth beneath his firmly rooted sandals. It felt like insects crawling over his skin and for a moment Kakashi panicked, struggling futilely against the power that held him. The black seals twined up his limbs and settled in a spiralling pattern over his chest, flaring briefly before fading under his clothes.

Just as suddenly, it was over and Kakashi fell to his knees. “Bastard!” he rasped at Iruka and tried to lunge at the calmly smiling chuunin.

He never even got off the ground. His legs failed him and he fell forward onto his hands, panting harshly. “What the _fuck_ did you do to me?”

Iruka leapt nimbly down from the training post and stepped within reach, offering a hand calmly. “What Hokage-sama asked of me. I sealed your chakra. Its a training method I use with the most over-powered chakra users in my classes, when they can’t or won’t get themselves under control. It’s nothing harmful,” Iruka smiled. “I only locked away your ability to control it. And, to be on the safe side, don’t try and use your Sharingan. At the moment, it should be effectively blind, but I can’t say that putting you into stressful situations won’t do something to it. As it’s an implanted eye, even Tsunade-sama’s not sure of how it will react in some situations.”

Kakashi would have knocked Iruka’s offered hand away, but his limbs felt like he had boulders attached to them, and it was all he could do to get back up on his knees. “Is that supposed to make me feel less inclined toward killing you? Because honestly, it’s _not_ working.”

Iruka snorted. “Considering you don’t have the strength to stand right now, you’ll forgive me if I don’t quake in terror.”

Kakashi gritted his teeth and struggled to push his achingly heavy limbs into getting him back to his feet. “That says nothing about when you take this damned seal off of me.”

The cat-masked ANBU reappeared and silently hauled Kakashi to his feet, steadying him for a moment before fading back into the fog like a feline ghost. 

Iruka just shook his head, dropping his extended hand. “I understand you are rather lacking in social graces at the moment, so I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that, most especially in front of an ANBU who might report it directly back to Tsunade-sama. I’m pretty sure she will not be impressed with your death-threats.” He folded his arms and regard Kakashi critically. “She asked me to do this, because she’s afraid one day you _will_ burn yourself out with no one else around and too far from the village to reach help before you drain yourself completely. This training will keep you capable of moving when you’ve burnt yourself out again; give you a fighting chance of making it back to help on your own. You’re supposed to be a genius, Hatake-san, so this shouldn’t be all that hard of a concept for you to grasp.”

Kakashi, concentrating on remaining on his feet when his body felt like so much unresponsive clay, spared Iruka a searing glower.

Iruka heaved a sigh and stepped forward, taking Kakashi’s shoulders and turning him around. “Tsunade-sama is also going to owe me big for this,” He grumbled. “We’ll start with the basics.”

Kakashi stumbled, only Iruka’s grip keeping him upright. He hated feeling this weak. He shot Iruka another dark look.

“The very, very basics,” Iruka amended, sighing again.

This time, when Kakashi woke, the fire had burned to ashes and the sky was beginning to lighten, though the cloud-cover remained stubbornly in place.

Without moving, Kakashi gingerly tested his drained chakra, like he might probe at a sore tooth. It was still dangerously low, but he’d learned his lessons well and wasn’t burning away his own life-energy. Kakashi found himself smiling reluctantly behind his mask.

Iruka had been an exacting teacher, driving Kakashi through various scenarios, and forcing him to learn how to manage with only his limited energy. It had served him in good stead on this disaster of a mission.

Kakashi pushed himself up and contemplated the unchanged, desolate hellhole around him. “I might live to get to help,” he muttered aloud. “If this place doesn’t kill me first.”

From the rock to his right, the little fox-creature’s ears popped up, followed by the rest of his sandy face. A long, mouse-like tail dangled from his jaws, still twitching spasmodically.

Kakashi couldn’t help an amused snort. “Sorry for interrupting your breakfast.”

Ears squeaked at him and finished off his meal with a snap and a toss of his head.

Sighing, Kakashi rose to his feet and neatly obliterated the traces of his camp. While he had seen no signs that the enemy had tracked him to this barren place, he had not lived this long by being forgetful. He rinsed his mouth out with a swallow of water from his canteen and discovered that the ration bars had somehow acquired a salty taste, which he found, did not improve their lack of flavor.

Squinting up into the unrelieved expanse of clouded gray that was the sky, Kakashi scowled. No rain, though the clouds looked pregnant with it, and no sun. And he still hadn’t a clue which way he was headed.

Ears yipped softly, drawing Kakashi’s attention to him. The little fox stood sentinel atop a tumbled stack of rock, watching Kakashi expectantly.

“As you seem to have better ideas of where to go than I do,” Kakashi offered mockingly. “Lead on.”

Ears blinked slowly at him, the move so unlike the fox-creature’s normal frenetic pace that Kakashi stilled, watching the tiny creature warily.

Ears held his pose for another moment before turning to nibble frantically at the fur above the base of his spine, for all the world like one of Kakashi’s pack when they had a sudden itch.

The reminder brought Kakashi a pang of longing. He’d dearly love to be able to summon the dogs here, to have them sniff out a path homeward and to keep him company in this arid place, but his chakra burned far too low to dare it.

Shaking his head, Kakashi glanced around and found the faint, barely-discernible trail he had been following yesterday. Setting his feet in it, he trudged toward the distant horizon, hoping that soon he would find his way out of this place and into more familiar territory. He needed to get home, needed to pass on his information, and more than anything else, needed to recover.

Ears trotted along at his heels, and the little creature’s presence was something of a comfort to Kakashi. If he just listened to the clicking of Ears’ claws on the stones, he could almost imagine it was one of his pack here with him. Not Pakkun, though. He smiled wryly. Pakkun wouldn’t stop bitching and moaning about the walk until Kakashi let him ride on his shoulder.

Though he kept every sense on the area around him, scanning warily for enemies or more of those poisonous lizards, Kakashi found his attention wandering. This reminded him of one of the exercises Iruka had tortured him with, dumping him in a patch of the forest with his chakra still sealed and challenging him to make it as far as the camp that Iruka had set up.

“It’s really very simple, Hatake-san,” Iruka regarded him with a raised eyebrow. “As you are still getting used to managing without access to your chakra, I have set up a simple exercise. Reach the camp I have marked by sunset. There are no traps in the woods and nothing more than the usual assortment of wildlife.”

Kakashi regarded him suspiciously. Though he had agreed to being resealed for this, the second day of their training, he was still less than pleased about being run around like a chakra-blind genin by a _schoolteacher_ of all things. “I don’t trust you.”

Iruka snorted laughter. “If I cared about your opinion of me, I’d be hurt, Hatake-san, but...” Iruka turned, leapt up onto the nearest branch and vanished into the the trees; his amused voice floating back down to Kakashi. “I give you credit for not trusting me, Hatake-san. I didn’t lie, but I wouldn’t be a good teacher if it was just that easy.”

 _Easy_ , it wasn’t. Though he had become accustomed to the heavy, leaden feeling of his limbs without chakra, he’d discovered the hard way that leaps and even the quick motions he could normally accomplish without thought or effort were beyond him. He quickly lost count of the number of times he stumbled and fell, and during one of those falls he discovered Konoha’s forest hosted an incredible amount of varieties of blood-sucking, biting, or otherwise annoying insects, and they all liked the taste of copy-nin. Every exposed bit of skin was a buffet for the little bastards.

Swatting at one of the annoying little suckers that had wanted nothing less than to make a meal out of his exposed eye, Kakashi had slipped on the river-bank and fallen into the cold water. Scrambling out of the water had earned him new bruises and a foot coated liberally in clinging, gray-green mud. It had taken him ten minutes to realize that the itching on that foot had subsided and that the insects tormenting him were leaving that ankle alone. He had backtracked to the river and coated all his exposed skin with the muck, breathing a sigh of relief when it worked.

The last rays of sunset had painted the trees a glory of crimson, and deepened the shadows beneath them to cool blue when he had staggered, battered and mud-covered, into the camp. 

Iruka was waiting for him beside a tiny campfire, flames casting disturbing shadows across his bronzed features. He clapped slowly. “Well done, Hatake-san. And surprisingly, in time.”

Kakashi spared him a sour glance. “Yeah, yeah, all in great fun, sensei, but can you take this stupid seal off so I can go home and get all this muck off of me?” He was beyond exhausted and wanted nothing so much as a hot shower and the chance to collapse on his bed for a few hours.

Iruka’s eyebrows shot up under the edge of his hitai-ate. “Oh, now what kind of teacher would I be if I let a student go home with his lessons only halfway done?”

Shocked, Kakashi had met Iruka’s eyes, certain he saw a spark of malicious pleasure there. “Oh, hell no.”

“Now, now,” Iruka soothed.

Kakashi was in no mood to be placated. He had been bruised, battered, and bitten and his temper finally snapped. “Is this some sort of ploy to get back at me, sensei? Because I have to say, I’m _not_ amused!”

Iruka looked startled, but had quickly recouped. “While you are free to believe the worst of me, I am trying to teach you how to manage your resources, enough to drag your stubborn, hard-headed ass back home when you do something colossally _stupid_ , like burn up every ounce of chakra you have!” Iruka’s voice rose to a roar. “I personally think you are arrogant, obnoxious and too damned full of yourself, but I have my orders and I will do my very best to carry them out. I’m sorry you are too hung up on yourself to see that!”

“And you are a petty paper-pushing bureaucrat, getting his jollies being able to torture someone of higher rank! Can’t do it yourself, so get off on telling someone who’s been a fully fledged shinobi since before you were even toddling how to manage to look after themselves?” Kakashi seethed. “What, mother-henning pre-genin isn’t enough for you? You think you need to teach a jounin how to stay alive?”

“Shut. Up.” Iruka’s voice went icy. There was a sudden fury in those dark eyes that startled Kakashi into taking a step back. “I have _had it_ with people assuming simply because I am a teacher and damned good at it that I have _nothing_ better or more constructive to do with my time than to torment jounin, be it with _pettily_ making them fill out their mission reports correctly, or running people through remedial training so they can drag their worthless carcasses back home!” Iruka stalked around the fire, shoulders tight and trembling with fury. “Nevermind that if the paperwork isn’t filed, our information is incomplete and someone goes out and dies because we didn’t have all the details, and oh, yes, let’s not forget if you don’t turn it in, you don’t get _paid_! And you can die out there in some forsaken hellhole simply because you were too pig-ignorant to accept training that was meant to help you stay alive and functioning long enough to get home.”

Kakashi saw the blow coming, but with his reaction times slowed by lack of chakra, could do nothing to block it. Surprisingly, the thrown fist stopped just a breath away from his masked jaw, so close he could feel the knuckles lightly brush the fabric.

Iruka glared at him over his raised fist. “You want me to torture you? Fine, you can find your way home in the dark or stay here, but I’m not going to release the seal.”

“What?” Kakashi roared, but his protest came too late.

Iruka’s hands twisted together in the signs for a teleportation jutsu and he vanished in a swirl of damp leaves and wind, leaving Kakashi alone in the encroaching night, with only the tiny campfire to hold the darkness at bay.

A squeak from Ears snapped Kakashi out of his fugue of memories, and he glanced down to see the small fox-creature deftly dispatching a scorpion easily the size of an average kunai. Kakashi shuddered, watching Ears making a meal out of the foul-looking thing.

Like everything else in this forsaken place, with the notable exception of Ears, the sand and rocks seemed to house and hide only lethal beasties. Like that thing Ears had made a meal of last night; some sort of giant centipede with clacking, dripping mandibles. Kakashi tore his eyes away from Ears and his current meal to look up at the never-ending gray sky. The hazy, uneven light made the land look surreal, the shadows soft-edged and blurry one moment, like they might take on life and move under their own power, and in the next simple shadows again. This place would drive a man crazy in short order, if it didn’t kill him first.

 

Glancing back down at the fox-creature, Kakashi caught Ears watching him with those dark, intelligent eyes again, head cocked to one side. Ears made a questioning sound and scrubbed at its muzzle with a paw.

Kakashi sighed and turned his attention back to the faint shadow of a path. Might as well keep moving, because he wanted nothing but to get home.

Several hours later Kakashi stopped for a rest and to eat another ration bar. He sat on a rock and watched Ears digging in the sand, sending up sprays of dust and earth. The frantic digging dragged a reluctant smile out of him. It reminded him of his pack going crazy after a ground squirrel, digging and yipping with excitement.

Wishing again he had enough chakra to summon his dogs, Kakashi closed his eye and leaned back against the dusty stone, cautiously testing his reserves. They were lower than they should be, and that was disturbing in its own way. He knew he’d worn himself down to a wraith in that last battle, but he’d gone for two... or was it _three_?... days without using anything but the barest trickles of chakra. It should have regenerated more than it had.

It was almost like the draining effect of the Sharingan, but he’d not uncovered the eye since the battle.

Kakashi sighed and wet his lips with the canteen, drinking sparingly. He did not know how much further he had to go before he reached a more hospitable land, and he did not dare run out of water in this desertscape. 

The rock was cool against his back and felt good after the oppressive, still heat of the air. The coolness leached some of the stifling warmth away, and Kakashi dropped into a light doze, still alert, but taking what rest he could find.

The chill against his back drew his mind inexorably back to that night in the forest. Cold and damp and aching from his trek, he’d known better than to try to make it back to the village in the dark. With his chakra sealed, he’d have made easy prey for anything that lurked in the night-shadowed trees. So he’d huddled close to the small, smoky fire, feeding it with whatever was within the tiny circle of uneven firelight.

Toward dawn, exhaustion had dragged him down into an uneasy, restless sleep.

He woke with sunlight warming his face, a blanket draped over him.

Iruka was seated lotus-style on a stump, watching him, his dark eyes unfathomable in the rose and orange morning light.

“For a genius, you can be a real idiot,” Iruka began conversationally, the corners of his mouth tugging upwards in a very small smile. “Come on. Lets get you inside and warmed up. Tsunade-sama won’t thank me if you get sick.”

Kakashi sat up, eyeing him warily.

Iruka spread empty hands, looking mildly exasperated. “Oh, stop glaring at me, Hatake-san. I’m not planning on doing anything to you. Lets face it, we both let our tempers get the better of us last night. Since we’re _not_ children, I think we can manage to get past it and not hold a grudge.” He offered one of his hands to Kakashi.

Kakashi held his stare for a long moment before reluctantly accepting the offered hand.

Iruka effortlessly tugged him to his feet, and rose to his own feet in one smooth motion. “Let’s go.”

Warily, he had followed the chuunin out of the forest, perversely irritated by Iruka’s obvious consideration for his bruised and battered state.

Surprisingly, Iruka led him to one of the bathhouses just inside the gates, a massive construction that catered mostly to weary travelers. The smell of the sulfurous hot spring and the fainter odors of the soaps and perfumed attendants filtered through the fabric of his mask. Kakashi shot a sideways glance at Iruka, who was paying the door attendant for both of them.

Iruka only smiled when he caught Kakashi’s look, gesturing for Kakashi to precede him into the changing room.

They undressed in the changing room, sharing that awkward silence only near-strangers getting naked in the same room could experience.

Kakashi replaced his mask with a strip of toweling, still watching his companion warily out of the corner of one eye.

Iruka paid him no mind, neither giving him any undue attention or trying for a look at his briefly-bared features. Iruka simply gathered up a basin of supplies and preceded Kakashi into the steam-filled bathing room.

Still silent, they scrubbed down; Kakashi gratefully rid himself of the layers of dried mud caked on his exposed skin. He was about to head for the bath when a firm hand on his shoulder stopped him. Kakashi looked back into Iruka’s amused brown eyes.

“You still have some mud on your lower back. Must’ve happened when you went to sleep on the ground,” Iruka commented. “Hold still and let me get that for you.”

Kakashi tensed briefly before nodding once and submitting quietly to the chuunin’s ministrations.

Iruka was coolly professional about it, calmly lathering a sponge and scrubbing Kakashi’s back briskly.

Kakashi fought down instinctive shivers at the feel of hands not his own on his bared, vulnerable skin, most especially because it was his back. His honed reflexes screamed at him about the proximity of a presumed enemy behind him and he had to force himself _not_ to react with the lethal force every nerve cried out for. Still, when Iruka had sluiced the soap off his back, Kakashi could not help but shake his skin all over, like a dog ridding itself of flies.

Iruka chuckled softly, but said nothing, stepping back and waving for Kakashi to head into the steaming hot-spring bath.

Kakashi stepped down into the water and settled on one of the underwater benches made from the rocks. The heat soaked into his battered body and reluctantly, his wire-tight muscles relaxed.

Iruka joined him in the pool, staying a careful distance from Kakashi, the ingrained respect for personal space that any trained shinobi had. Get too close to a shinobi on the edge and one might find themselves getting way too personal a look at the business end of a kunai.

Kakashi grimaced down at the small black mark over his heart that was the only evidence of the seal that still bound his chakra away from his control. “Why haven’t you unsealed me yet?” He grumbled through his terrycloth replacement for his mask.

To his surprise, Iruka boldly met his challenging gaze, a rather impish grin that bared a flash of white teeth crinkling up the edges of the scar across his nose. “Because you would have teleported yourself away the instant I did so, instead of warming yourself in a hot spring.” Iruka chuckled. “And this way we can talk without you trying to run away.”

Kakashi sank lower in the water and gave Iruka a glare that had little heat behind it. “No wonder you get along with the damned hag. You're just as much of an ass as she is.”

Iruka snorted. “Call me all the names you like, Hatake-san. It doesn’t change the fact that you are going to finish this training. Tsunade-sama wants you to keep coming back alive.”

“I’m still breathing, aren’t I?” Kakashi growled under his breath.

“And how long will that trend continue when you regularly come back home barely able to move from sheer chakra exhaustion?” Iruka asked in a very reasonable tone.

That only made Kakashi more irritated. He turned his gaze away from the chuunin, sinking down until only his head was above the level of the water.

“Besides,” Iruka continued. “Have you noticed how much easier you are moving today, even without chakra?”

That surprised him, and Kakashi jerked his head back up to stare at Iruka. 

Iruka met his gaze with that unnervingly calm half-smile he’d been wearing since Kakashi had woken.

Gingerly, Kakashi tested his limbs under the water. Though they were still disturbingly heavy and slow to respond, he found he was indeed moving with much more ease.

Iruka chuckled. “It gets easier, Hatake-san, the longer you do it. You’ve gotten so used to supplementing everything with your chakra that you don’t even know how to shut it off anymore. So when you run out, you literally can’t move.” Iruka leaned his head back, no longer meeting Kakashi’s watchful gaze. “Right now, I have to seal you to keep you from unconsciously using it. Eventually, I’ll teach you how to consciously choose not to use it.”

Kakashi blinked, staring hard at Iruka’s relaxed frame. “How do you do it?”

Iruka snorted. “No reading ahead in the textbook, Hatake-san. I tell you now and you’ll manage to fuck yourself up in a way Naruto would be hard pressed to manage, and that boy can heal himself from just about anything. _You_ can’t.”

Kakashi started to bristle, but forced himself back to calmness with a deep steam-laden breath. “No,” he growled under his breath. “How do you not use it?”

Looking at Iruka’s widened, startled eyes, Kakashi had realized this was the first time he’d actually managed to surprise Iruka. After a long moment, Iruka dragged in a ragged breath and chuckled wryly. “I should have known,” He murmured quietly before raising his gaze and his voice. “Not all of us have the benefit of _too_ much chakra.”

Kakashi snorted under his towel. “If I had too much, I’d never have to undergo this training. I wouldn’t be wearing myself out on the battlefield and getting hauled back to the village.”

Something softened in Iruka’s eyes and it surprised Kakashi. It wasn’t pity, or any other emotion he recognized.

“You don’t even realize it, do you?” Iruka asked softly. “You’ve been doing it since you were just a child. Infusing yourself with chakra, just to keep up.”

Kakashi blinked, drawing his his head back to regard Iruka askance.

There was sadness visible in Iruka’s face. “This is why I protest when someone wants me to graduate a student earlier. You never had a chance to learn anything but how to keep up with those who were older; more experienced than you. You never realized just how much you were pushing yourself, because you had to, just to be the genius child prodigy shinobi. Too much too soon, and no one ever realized what you had done to yourself.”

Kakashi instinctively bristled at the slight to his sensei.

Iruka seemed to sense it and stopped him in his tracks before he could even open his mouth. “Not that I can blame anyone for not realizing it. We were in the middle of the war when you were a child and Minato-sama had to push everyone. He didn’t even realize what you were doing because he never had the chance to slow down and see.”

Kakashi had let his thoughts drift back to just how hard Minato-sensei had pushed, not just Kakashi, but himself. As a child he had instinctively tried hard to ease his sensei’s burdens, just to see Sensei smile. How had he never realized just _how_ often the smile was a sad one?

Kakashi startled awake, his heart pounding all over again at that revelation. The stone against his back was beyond cool now. The dim, cloud-shrouded light had faded and he knew that the sun was setting behind the obscuring overcast.

Kakashi cursed himself for falling asleep and stretched his aching muscles slowly. He heard a squeak by his ear, and turned his head to see Ears curled on the rock by his head, so close that some of his hair was touching the brush of the fox’s tail. Ears yawned and for a just an instant Kakashi wanted to stretch out his fingers and bury them in the little fox-creature’s sand colored fur, to touch something alive other than himself, something warm and breathing.

Then sanity reasserted itself. In spite of all the friendliness and companionship the little creature had shown, Kakashi must never forget that he was a wild thing, unused to human touch.

Grumbling, Kakashi heaved himself to his feet and set about making a camp. It would do him no good to stumble blindly in the darkness, and very likely he would run into one of the lethal little beasties that populated this barren stretch of unforgiving hell.

He made another tiny, strangely-colored fire while the last bit of daylight lasted, eating yet another ration bar and judging in his mind just how much longer his supplies would hold out. He took a measured sip of his water and stretched himself out on the sand, looking up at the unrelenting darkness that marked the sky. For all that he had dozed most of the day, he still felt exhausted and sleep was quick to claim him.

It had taken eight days of having his chakra sealed daily for his limbs to _not_ feel as if they had lead weights attached to them. He was actually sparring with some of his old fluidity, with Gai as his opponent and Iruka watching over both of them carefully. It was frustrating knowing how much Gai was holding back, but there was nothing he could do about it, short of acting the fool. Again.

Four days ago, Kakashi had gotten so frustrated and irritated trying to accomplish a task he would have had no trouble doing normally, he’d gone off on Iruka once again, railing at the stupidity of this whole training and Tsunade’s insistence he go through with it, and of course, Iruka’s complicity in the whole damned plot.

That time Iruka did not rise to the bait, he’d only looked down his nose at Kakashi and said in a scathingly calm tone of voice, “I can see why else Tsunade-sama assigned me to teach you. I have experience teaching spoiled _children_.”

Kakashi had flinched, growling. “I’m no child.”

“Yes, you are,” Iruka went on bluntly, folding his arms. “And until you decide to act like an adult, I will treat you as such. Be glad I don’t put you in timeout.”

Kakashi had gaped at him, astounded by the cheek. Forgetting his lack of chakra, he’d taken an offended swing at Iruka.

Iruka dodged the blow with ease, moving fluidly to trap Kakashi’s reaching fist, holding him pinned, with his arm neatly twisted up behind his back. “I have no interest in being a bully, Hatake-san. Right now I am stronger than you, and it gives me no pleasure to have to bring you down to this level.” Iruka leaned closer, warm breath brushing the shell of Kakashi’s ear. “Believe it or not, I prefer seeing you alive and well.”

Kakashi, caught completely by surprise, had unconsciously shivered.

A low kick from Gai brought him back to the spar and he stumbled back, cursing and sporting yet another new, painful bruise.

Cursing low under his breath and throwing himself into the rhythm of fighting, Kakashi found his center — block and strike; dodge and kick. He fell into a meditative state, only aware of himself and his opponent and the pattern they created between them. Block, block, block, strike, block, block again and then turn the tables and go on the offensive.

Iruka’s sharp voice cut through his preoccupation and drew them both to a halt. “That’s enough for the moment. Hatake-san, you are still missing the point of this exercise.”

Gai immediately straightened up and faced Iruka. “My humblest apologies, Iruka-sensei. I have failed in the noble task you have given me. In penance, I shall —”

Iruka had cut him off with a sharp wave. “It’s no fault of yours, Gai-san. It’s more my failing for not managing to get through to Hatake-san what I intended with this exercise.” Iruka stepped closer, taking off his flak vest and shoving his sleeves up to bare his forearms. “Hatake-san, you are trapped in enemy territory, no chakra, and enemies near. What is your objective?”

“Complete my mission.” Kakashi answered without hesitation.

Iruka nodded, crouching and picking up a long stave from where it had been hidden in the grass. “Good. So to expand on that, you have your information and are trying to escape. No chakra and enemies ready to attack.” He whirled the staff from hand to hand, the pale wood a blur of speed. “What do you do?”

Kakashi blinked at him. Normally, he would head for home or his rendezvous point, and kill anyone who tried to stop him. But without chakra for jutsu or enhanced speed...

“Escape!” Iruka barked. At the same time he lashed out with his stave, the wood coming close enough to brush Kakashi’s hair. Instinctively, Kakashi twisted sideways to avoid a second blow.

Iruka was close on his heels, the lashing staff not missing a beat. “Your objective is nothing fancy,” Iruka snapped, feinting left and coming in on the right in a blinding flash of speed, clipping Kakashi’s arm a painful blow with the barest edge of the staff. “Escape. You have only your mind, your body and whatever weapons you have on you. All you should be focused on is getting away.”

Iruka lashed out again and this time Kakashi just barely managed to dodge the strike. Iruka didn’t relent, coming back with a rapid series of jabs, any one of which could have gutted him had the stave a blade instead of a blunt, leather-capped end. “Not the information, nor any teammates you might have; only escape. To carry out your mission, you have to survive; to escape.” Iruka continued his lecture between lightning fast strikes and jabs, forcing Kakashi to keep moving constantly. “So you run. Don’t worry about anything but that goal.”

The whirling staff stopped suddenly, grounding itself in the forest loam with a solid thump.

Kakashi paused, panting, and eyed Iruka, feeling disturbingly like a mouse before a predator.

Iruka regarded him over the top of the stave, smiling slightly. “So,” he continued. “Do you think you can avoid capture long enough to reach the village gate from here?”

Kakashi had considered it for a moment. A week prior, he would have said yes without hesitation. Finally, he cocked a thumb at Gai. “From him, maybe. From you, not a chance.”

Iruka threw back his head and laughed. “Good answer. You’re getting smarter. Tell you what. Evade him as far as the village gate and we’ll call today’s lesson done.” Iruka glanced sideways at Gai. “Gai-san, cover your eyes.”

Gai did so without a sound, which impressed Kakashi a great deal. That Gai obeyed Iruka without one of his overblown declarations was astounding in and of itself.

Iruka turned his gaze back to Kakashi. “You have a count of ten before he follows. Use it wisely.”

Kakashi took off running as fast as his feet would carry him.

In the end, he didn’t make it to the gate. He was within sight of it when Gai managed to catch him, in spite of the many delays Kakashi had contrived with everything in his pockets, including a squeaky toy he was _sure_ he didn’t put in his weapons pouch. He’d have to have a word with Pakkun about that later.

“If this had been real, you would have lasted long enough to reach rescue,” Iruka had said, gesturing at Gai to let him go. 

Kakashi tumbled to the ground, bruised and cursing.

Iruka bent and offered him a hand up. “You were within sight of the gate, which means you were close enough for someone to come to your aid. So while you didn’t escape unscathed, you made it close enough to count this as a successful exercise.”

Kakashi accepted Iruka’s hand and let Iruka haul him to his feet.

Iruka nodded to Gai. “Thank you for your help, Gai-san.”

Gai nodded. “It has been my inestimable pleasure, Iruka-sensei, to aid you in the training of my eternal rival.”

Kakashi snorted behind his mask.

Gai offered him one of his broadest grins. “I look forward to our contests when Iruka-sensei has finished his training regimen with you.”

Kakashi waved him off with a negligent hand and followed Iruka into the village proper. They walked in silence for a while. 

Kakashi was just about to ask Iruka to remove the seal, when Iruka turned his head and smiled at him. “In return for a mostly successful day of training, I’ll buy you dinner. _Not_ ramen, though. I get enough of that when Naruto comes home for a visit.”

Without waiting for an answer, Iruka led the way up the street to a restaurant that was run by a retired kunoichi and her civilian husband. Iruka went right in and began chatting up the battle-scarred woman standing guard over the glass counter at the front.

Kakashi had followed uncertainly, hesitating in the doorway.

Iruka turned and motioned at Kakashi. “Come on, Hatake-san. Mirai-chan doesn’t bite.”

The woman he’d named Mirai snorted amusement. “Looks like he’s more afraid of you, Iruka-kun. Don’t worry,” she raised her voice. “Iruka doesn’t bite either.”

Iruka chuckled. “At least not _much_.”

Mirai laughed and led them to a table, leaving them with menus and a promise to be back to take their order.

Iruka pursed his lips in an amused looking frown. “Would you relax? There is no motive to this more than my treating you to dinner to celebrate a successful bout of training. Beyond leaving you in a forest to cool your temper, have I done anything to earn such distrust? I am merely trying to do as ordered and teach you how to stay alive.”

Kakashi decided silence was the best answer he could give and concentrated on the menu.

After a moment, he heard Iruka sigh and turn his attention to his own menu.

Mirai reappeared, neatly balancing a tray on one hand. She set it on the table, unloading a sake decanter in a bath of warm water and two shallow cups. Deftly, she offered them the cups and poured _sake_ for each of them. “This one’s on the house, Iruka-kun, but maybe your handsome friend here might buy the next round, hey?” She winked cheerily.

A light blush dusted Iruka’s cheeks with pink, but he answered her readily enough. “That’s assuming he doesn’t want to gut me like a fish when I get done running him ragged through remedial training.”

Mirai chortled merrily, slyly glancing at Kakashi out of the corner of her eye. “Now-now, Iruka-kun, You never know. He could conceive a burning, fiery passion for you and declare his love — or _lust_ ,” she amended herself with a laugh, “—from the top of the Hokage monument.”

This time Iruka turned bright red, the blush starting at the top of his ears and proceeding all the way down his face and under the collar of his uniform.

Kakashi had to wonder just how far down it would go.

Iruka recovered, though he was still as red as a tomato. “Now who’s been reading too many romance novels, Mirai-chan?”

Kakashi had seen a chance to get his own back and smirked beneath his mask. “Sounds more like she reads _Icha Icha_. Because that sounds just like a scene in Tactics, right before the hero carried Yumi-chan off into his palace to —”

Iruka turned an even brighter red. “Please, let’s not subject the other patrons of Mirai-chan’s fine establishment to your abysmal taste in literature, either of you.”

Kakashi gave in to the urge to laugh. When he wasn’t driving Kakashi insane, dragging him through mud and forests and various other tortures, Iruka wasn’t half-bad company.

Iruka downed his cup of sake and politely, Kakashi refilled it for him.

Iruka sighed and leaned back in his seat, looking after Mirai’s retreating form. “Honestly...” his voice trailed off into silence. He turned his gaze back to Kakashi, the corner of his mouth quirking up in a wry smile. “Feel better?”

“Mmm?” Kakashi raised his eyebrow.

Iruka snorted and picked up his cup, swirling the contents slowly. He regarded Kakashi over the rim thoughtfully. “You’ve been debating various ways to kill or embarrass me since this whole training idea of Tsunade-sama’s started. Feel better now that you’ve managed to do at least part of that?”

Surprised at the piercing truth in that statement, Kakashi looked up and met Iruka’s eyes. “Surprisingly, yes.”

Iruka chuckled. “Good. Now maybe you’ll throw some more effort into these training sessions. The sooner we get them over with, the better.”

“Tired of me already, Iruka-sensei?” Kakashi couldn’t resist jabbing.

Iruka set his cup down and steepled his fingers, watching Kakashi with a strange sort of intensity over them. “I take my responsibilities as a teacher very seriously, Hatake-san.”

“Oh?” Kakashi prompted, curious.

Iruka smiled, a slow curl of his lips that made Kakashi’s stomach clench uncomfortably. “I _do_ prefer you alive, Hatake-san. One can’t get to know the dead better.”

Kakashi had blinked, startled. “You...” He wet his lips and tried again. “Um, you... is this a date?”

Iruka chuckled softly, a sensual rumble of laughter. He threw his drink back and set the cup down with a decisive clunk. “No.”

Kakashi was surprised at the disappointment that one word engendered. “Then...”

Iruka leaned forward, drumming the fingertips of his steepled hands together. “I don’t date _students_.”

Kakashi swallowed. “Oh?”

Iruka grinned, a foxy, mischievous look on his tanned face. “So hurry up and learn what I have to teach you, Hatake-san.”

“Kakashi.” Kakashi sipped his sake to ease a suddenly dry throat. “Call me Kakashi.”

“When you are not my student, Hatake-san, and not before.” Iruka chided softly.

Kakashi woke to the embers of his fire and, shivering, built it up again. For all the oppressive heat of the day it was damned cold at night. He sat up and stared into the strange bluish-green flames. 

It had been a week and a half after that incident that Iruka had called him ‘Kakashi’ for the first time, pairing his name with a devilish smile and a hooded, sly gaze.

Four days after that they had fucked hungrily, Iruka pressing Kakashi against the door of his apartment and torturing him again, this time with lips and fingers and cock. The remembered feel of Iruka buried deep in his body made Kakashi shiver again, for an entirely different reason. He shied deliberately away from that train of thought. He’d be damned if he jacked off with only a strange fox-creature as company. When he got back to Konoha, though... If he had his way, neither he nor Iruka would sit comfortably for a week.

He glared at the darkness surrounding his tiny pocket of light. He had to get to Konoha first... and fuck if he knew where the hell he was.

A skittering sound in the unrelenting black reminded him that most of the inhabitants of this area were inclined to try and make a meal out of him or Ears.

Kakashi picked up a salt-crusted pebble, judged where the sound came from and sailed the stone out in the night. Something shrieked and he heard the frantic movement of something in pain. Crap. He’d only wounded it, whatever it was. He’d meant to frighten it off or kill it; but wounding it made it all the more dangerous.

Ears had awoken and was staring into the night, every muscle quivering. His oversized ears twitched, tracking on the sounds of the moving creature beyond the bounds of the firelight.

Kakashi picked up a slightly larger pebble, estimated, and let fly.

He missed. The sounds continued unabated and he heard the pebble bounce three times, thud against something and bounce twice more.

Kakashi scowled and picked up a branch from the fire. Best he put the creature out of its misery before it decided to attack the creature that had caused it pain. He pulled a kunai from his holster and rose to his feet.

Ears leapt up, shaking from nose to tail. Bouncing in place, the little fox let out a racket of ear-splitting yelps and barks, interspersed with snarls and whines. Oddly, it almost sounded as if the little beast were trying to talk. 

Ears turned to face him, dark eyes intent, still making his strange plethora of sounds, but softer now.

Kakashi hesitated, taking a step towards the tiny creature. His sandal scuffed a rock at the base of the pile Ears was perched on; that caused others to cascade, tinkling down to plop in the sand. Thump, thump, thump, tink-thump, thump.

Kakashi’s eyes widened. He knew that pattern. It was shinobi field sign for “mortal danger.” He himself had drummed it on a tree to warn a team of an ambush once.

Ears howled, the loudest sound the creature had ever made.

The world shattered into insanity around him, darkness stabbing at him like shards of glass in a typhoon. He could not see, could hear only the frantic pounding of his heart in his own ears. Crimson lightning stabbed through him, clawing along his nerves in mind-numbing agony.

A distant voice whispered through the maelstrom. “He’s convulsing. Hold him down!”

The whirlwind sprouted hands, vile grasping things that dragged his limbs down.

Kakashi fought them with the strength born of desperation, trying to summon his own white lightning to burn away the dark and scarlet pain.

Those hideous black claws were on his face, forcing his head to remain still. A sound vaguely like Ears’ hysterical barking penetrated the roar of chaos, resolving into words that he almost understood. “—kashi! _Kakashi!_ ”

He thought that he was screaming, but he couldn’t get enough air to be sure. 

Blood roared in his ears and the wash of wrenching agony skittered along every nerve like a living thing. He arched against the dark hands, muscles spasming and straining.

“ _One of you cover up that fucking eye!_ ” The distant voice commanded, cutting through the thunderous drumming of his heart. “He’s bleeding chakra through it like a damned mortal wound!”

Kakashi knew he screamed then, long and raw, because the darkness holding him down intensified, dragging his body down. He was drowning in that creeping blackness, the cold, stygian depths crawling over his skin, creeping inexorably into his nose and mouth. He convulsed, struggling for air that wasn’t there.

The roar in his ears dulled and slowed and even through the screaming anguish, he somehow knew it was his heart grinding to a halt. He was dying. He almost welcomed the thought of it, if it would somehow bring an end to the tearing pain.

“No!” It was the second voice, the one that faintly sounded like Ears. The grasping claws on his face eased and suddenly the darkness was receding, just enough that he could suck in a sobbing breath. “No, don’t cover it! That’s the gods-be-damned source! That eye is causing this!”

“Shit!” The other voice cursed bitingly.

Kakashi was still drowning. He wrenched a hand free and stretched it upwards desperately, looking for something — anything — to hold on to.

“Kakashi.” 

A real, _warm_ human hand caught his, and Kakashi could only cling to that one small bit of stability in the bewildering chaos that surrounded him; _swallowed_ him.

He felt those grasping claws on his face again and panicked, but the hand in his held him steady.

Icy claws dug at the scarred skin around his eye, peeling the flesh away like the skin from an apple. A lance of fresh, searing pain skewered him, transfixing him like a bug on a pin. His fingers convulsed around his one link back to sanity.

“He’s caught in some kind of feedback loop; the Sharingan is feeding back into the genjutsu. Damn this eye, it never fucking reacts like it should! This would be so different if it weren’t implanted, but the way it’s wired into his chakra, it does things I have no way of predicting!”

“Can you break it?”

Kakashi keened in his throat as those searingly cold talons ripped deeper into his flesh. He could feel warm blood coursing down his cheek.

“Don’t you think I’ve _tried?_ I’ve even tried sealing his chakra, but the damned eye bypasses my efforts and continues to suck his chakra up like a sponge!”

Those warm fingers closed tighter on his, strong and steady in the maddening insanity.

Despite the pain, and those icy fingers ripping into the skin around his eye, Kakashi squeezed back on the single anchor he had in the maelstrom. 

“I have an idea.”

The grasping talons withdrew from his face, and Kakashi sucked in a sobbing intake of air, struggling against the darkness that was trying to consume him. He thought he saw Ears’ dark eyes peering worriedly at him, which made no sense in the all-consuming darkness.

“Kakashi, listen to me,” The voice was calm and authoritative, cutting through the morass of pain and confusion cleanly. The fingers around his squeezed once, reassuringly, and Kakashi knew they belonged to owner of the soothing voice that kept the darkness at bay with it’s very presence. “Remember what I taught you? How to block your chakra? I need you to do that for me, please.”

Was that really Iruka? Kakashi desperately wanted to believe it. He tried to speak Iruka’s name but wasn’t even sure if he had a voice at all.

“It’s me,” the voice confirmed softly, only wavering a little. “It’s Iruka. Please, can you do what I asked? I’ll help you all I can.”

Shivering with the pain and cold, Kakashi managed what he thought might be a nod.

Still hanging onto Iruka’s fingers, Kakashi sucked in a another ragged, gasping breath and let the darkness drag him down. He stopped struggling to move, to breathe, and sank willingly into the chaotic hurricane of misery, knowing the pain was centered on his body and more importantly, his chakra. It was his chakra feeding the waves of searing agony and if he followed it back down, he’d be able to find himself and his way out.

He remembered what Iruka had taught him that long ago day, sitting among the autumn leaves, with the cold damp wind warning of winter’s approach.

_“Center yourself. You know what your chakra feels like and how it feels when I cut you off from it. Follow the pathways back to the center, the heart of you. Find where all the channels intertwine and shut it away. Like a door, the power to open and close those channels is in your hands.”_

Reassured, Kakashi found his own bright network of chakra, white and welcoming under the red haze of pain. For just an instant he could see what was wrong, how his chakra was trapped in an endless loop, feeding the illusions and pain that consumed him.

Smiling ferally, Kakashi reached out ephemeral hands and wrenched hard, breaking the loop long enough to see where the tangle was, the black heart at the center, where the genjutsu had confused his internal systems, feeding into his Sharingan, which in turn fed back into the illusions.

With a purely mental scream of effort, Kakashi closed off his chakra entirely.

Like some sentient creature, the maddened knot of enemy jutsu and his own eye fought him, trying to wrest control away from him. Kakashi wavered, aching and tired, and so very near the edge of his strength he could feel oblivion reaching for him.

Something squeezed his hand, and Kakashi felt a touch of foreign chakra through the contact, offered up freely. Kakashi grabbed for it, and calling to mind the shape of his family’s heirloom tanto blade, drove the gift of energy into the tangle, cleaving through.

Suddenly the world exploded back into his senses like epiphany, full of light and sound, scent and motion and a million things he had never paid attention to, but were all the more real for simply existing. The tearing pain faded to a ghost, leaving behind only the familiar, dull ache of an overused Sharingan. The air he was gulping down in great, gasping breaths was warm and scented of antiseptics and had _never_ smelled sweeter.

Tsunade was leaning over him, worry in her hazel eyes, and beside her, bags under his eyes and his features tight with strain, was Iruka. Despite that, Kakashi thought they looked altogether wonderful.

He managed to quirk his dry, cracked lips upward into an approximation of a cocky grin. “Yo,” he rasped.

Reality slid sideways and unconsciousness dragged him into an embrace.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Kakashi woke, Tsunade was gone, but Iruka was slumped in a chair beside his bed, face slack in exhausted slumber.

Iruka’s dark-shadowed eyes popped open the instant Kakashi stirred. Iruka blinked at him and then relaxed, sliding the kunai he had palmed back into his sleeve.

“Kakashi,” Iruka murmured, his voice rusty from sleep. He smiled widely and scooted his chair closer to the bed. “I’m glad you’re awake.”

Kakashi pushed himself up against his pillows. His arms shook more than they should have. “So am I.” He frowned; his voice was a tortured croak and his throat felt raw.

Iruka seemed to know exactly what he was thinking and reached for the pitcher of water and glass on the bedside table. He poured a cup and handed it to Kakashi, steadying it when the task of getting it to his lips proved too much for Kakashi’s shaking hands.

After a few careful sips had eased the raw feeling, Kakashi pushed the cup away and looked straight at Iruka. “What happened?”

Iruka looked away, his tanned skin taking on a grayish tinge. “I _never_ want to see you like that again. Gai carried you home. We found out later the information was a trap. They never expected you to be the one they captured. They just wanted a Konoha shinobi to interrogate. They had a genjutsu expert, one who had never failed to crack a target. He couldn’t break you, though, but whatever he did...Tsunade-sama says it was probably because of your Sharingan, but...” Iruka stopped for a moment, swallowing. “You were gone, Kakashi. Locked away where she couldn’t reach you. Tsunade-sama even brought in Yamanaka. All he could get was a sense of emptiness and loneliness.”

Kakashi remembered the attack, the struggle, but after that his memories were blurred and hazy, until he _‘woke’_ in the desert. “How long?” he asked. “How long was I...?”

“Four days.” Iruka said bluntly, hunching his shoulders. “Four days of you in a coma, dead to the world.” His hands were clenched tight on the arms of his chair, fingers drumming nervously.

Kakashi froze.

Iruka noticed his expression and looked down at his drumming fingers. He stilled and looked sheepishly up at Kakashi. “It was all I could think to do while I was sitting here with you. I kept tapping the code on your arm, _hoping_ that somehow it would get through, that you would understand.”

Kakashi let out the breath he’d been holding, feeling relief wash over him. “It did.”

Iruka’s cheeks were dusted red. “I’m glad.”

Kakashi couldn’t resist smirking at Iruka. “My hero. You saved me twice.”

Iruka’s head shot up, the blush intensifying. “Kakashi!”

Kakashi couldn’t help it, he laughed raspily. “You did. Three times, actually. You taught me how to block my own chakra, you kept trying to warn me, and you helped me break the jutsu.”

Iruka laughed wryly. “Just trying to do what the Hokage asked me a long time ago. Keep you alive.”

“Good job,” Kakashi chuckled, reaching out to tug a lock of Iruka’s hair that had fallen from his high ponytail.

Iruka sighed, reaching up to capture Kakashi’s hand. “I remember when you told me about the time you spent in a coma after Itachi came to the village.” Kakashi could feel Iruka shudder. “He _tortured_ you. What the hell did you go through this time?”

Kakashi rumbled a laugh. “Nothing too bad. I was just a little lost on the road of life.”


End file.
